Nikki Bella & John Cena has had a controversial and roller coaster relationship ever since their break-up happened over a year ago, to say the least. Since then, Nikki Bella has been hiding her true feelings towards John Cena, which see recently revealed.
In an exclusive clip from Sunday’s episode of Total Bellas, which was the season finale, Nikki & her sister, Brie, took a visit to Napa, California: the city where Nikki Bella & John Cena were originally supposed to tie the knot.

“This is the first time I’ve been back in Napa since my big breakup and I just immediately get all those memories. But a part of me is like, ‘Okay Nicole, now you have to make new memories.’ I definitely made Napa a lot about the ex, but I think because I have such a love for wine that it makes it feel okay,” Nikki tells Brie.
Even though the word going around is that Nikki Bella is still dating her Former Dancing With The Stars Partner, Artem Chigvintsev, she said that the trip she took to Napa was the start of her true grieving and healing process, as seen below:
“I think that’s why I was crying so much yesterday,” Nikki explained, “I feel like it was the first time I just fully was starting my true grieving and healing process. No matter what, the next time I see him with someone it’s going to kill me.”
Nikki also says that her new strategy is to live life unapologetically and that she is excited to see where this mindset will take her, as seen below:

“I still have a long way to go. But honestly, I’m ready for a new me. I need it,” Nikki said. “You know what I feel like I need to do? I need to start living as if I don’t care whether it’s my ex or anyone else watching me and afraid to hurt their feelings. I just want to move forward.”
Total Bellas airs on The E! Network every Sunday at 9PM ET.

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