John: I’m back to preview WWE Cyber Sunday along with my buddy Adam Payne. This is the most interactive PPV in the WWE…unless you live outside of America like myself because we’re not allowed to vote in the text voting. Don’t worry, Vince, I would have avoided that at all costs even if I could. I don’t feel the need to give you back the money you wasted on your money giveaway idea that didn’t bring you new viewers, but hopefully your other fans did. As always, we’ll run through all the matches on this card filled with championship matches and ridiculous stipulations all over the place. For the last three matches (Show vs. Taker and the two major title matches) the preview will be done chat style as Adam and I discussed them while we chatted as opposed to writing the other parts on our own. On with the preview.
WWE Diva Halloween Costume Contest
John: Adam didn’t want to preview this one, but I’m always up for talking about scantily clad women. Oh wait, it’s a family company now, so they’ll probably be covered up. I miss the days of the girls dressing up like school girls, particularly the outfits that Trish and Candice had. Ah, memories. I guess Kelly Kelly will win because she seems to be getting the big push although if she doesn’t win will anybody remember it a minute after it’s over? Nope. This is filler.
Winner: Kelly Kelly
Pick the Tag Team Match
Mickie James & Jamie Noble vs. William Regal & Layla
Miz & Morrison vs. Cryme Tyme
CM Punk & Kofi Kingston vs. Ted Dibiase & Cody Rhodes
Adam: I will say that this is a unique choice as opposed to previous Cyber Sunday PPVs, but there should only be one obvious choice, and that’s Miz and Morrison vs. Cryme Time. Sure, Priceless could be on the PPV but they aren’t even wrestling against a legitimate tag team. I would rather have it be Cryme Tyme vs. Priceless but I’m sure that’s an option they are just waiting to use down the line, possibly at Survivor Series or Armageddon, who knows. Another match that I’m not sure I can care about. The intergender tag match sounds different, but I’m not going to vote for a clusterfuck of a match, especially with an unproven Layla in the ring. With that being said, my choice is the legit tag team choice but I’m sure fans everywhere will pick Priceless vs. CM Punk and Kofi “Jamaican me crazy” Kingston. As far as the match goes, the heel team will go over. So I’m picking Priceless in this one.
John: Man, I was confused just writing out the choices for this match and I think I’m a smarter than average WWE fan. I think the match will end up being either Punk/Kingston vs. Dibiase/Rhodes or Miz/Morrison vs. Cryme Tyme and I think ultimately the match chosen will be Miz/Morrison vs. Cryme Tyme because they’ve had a better build for it. I do think Punk is being wasted as part of this thing too, but that’s for another column talking about how they have sucked the life out of the guy since he lost the belt. For my prediction of Cryme Tyme vs. Miz/Morrison, I think it’s smarter for the babyface team to go over because it is a fan interactive show and I think if this is opening the PPV it would be a wise move to put the good guys over at the beginning.
Winners: Cryme Tyme
Kane vs. Rey Mysterio
Match Choices: Falls Count Anywhere, No Holds Barred, 2 out of 3 Falls
Adam: Can I really say I care at this point? This is probably one of the worst possible feuds going on in WWE right now. The only good thing it has accomplished is it has elevated Evan Bourne, but it’s doing absolutely nothing for the two people involved in the feud itself. After Kane lost at his attempt to de-mask Rey Mysterio, this feud should have been over. Somehow, and someway WWE is able to keep this pile of shit feud rolling. And did either man have any kind of interaction this past week to put the match over at Cyber Sunday? Absolutely not. This feud could be a lot better and should have been better than its current state. Maybe four years ago this feud would have been better served in WWE, but not now at this point and it’s a shame. Oh, and the match choices? Who cares about them when you don’t even care about the participants. I’m going to pick Falls Count Anywhere because people want to see Rey Mysterio dive off of the stage or something like that.
Match Type Selected: Falls Count Anywhere
Winner: Rey Mysterio
John: Let me get this straight. Last month the stip was if Rey lost he had to take off his mask, which was a ridiculous stipulation to begin with. Why? Because they made no mention of Kane wanting to take off his mask after that, nor did he ever attempt to do so. Then you’ve got these stipulations here where Falls Count Anywhere and No Holds Barred mean pretty much the same thing. Obviously Falls Count Anywhere is self explanatory and No Holds Barred is basically the same deal with weapons being legal and being able to beat the hell out of the guy all over the arena. Oops, there I go thinking again. I guess No Holds Barred will win although all that really matters is Mysterio going over. And for the love of God, no more of this feud. End it now.
Match Type Selected: No Holds Barred
Winner: Rey Mysterio
ECW Championship Match: Pick Matt Hardy’s opponent
Choices: Mark Henry, Finlay, Evan Bourne
Adam: Is it just me, or does anyone else feel disgusted that Matt Hardy is the ECW champion? Don’t get me wrong, the guy is an accomplished wrestler, I just feel that he is above that sort of championship that is meant to help elevate other wrestlers. Like the guy I think is going to win the poll, the obvious fan favorite, Evan Bourne. I think he is a legitimate choice and with him gaining the victory this week on ECW in the triple threat match shows how much WWE is investing in him. The fans aren’t going to vote in a heel (Henry) and I think Finlay with Hornswoggle just isn’t a serious enough candidate to take enough votes here. I have a feeling the high-flying theatrics will get Bourne over the top in voting and I believe he will be the new ECW champion after Cyber Sunday. At least one title has to change hands right?
Winner: Evan Bourne
John: Nope. I don’t think one of the titles has to change hands although honestly does anybody really care about the ECW title? I sure as hell don’t. I do think the fans care about picking who Matt Hardy will beat though, and I’d be shocked if it’s not Evan Bourne. It’s a fresh match, he’s an exciting wrestler and basically he’s everything that Mark Henry is not. Finlay might get some votes too, but he’s become a comedy act more than a wrestler, so he’s not winning either. It’s Bourne and he’s losing to Hardy as he should. Hopefully they get at least ten minutes to have a good match.
Winner: Matt Hardy over Evan Bourne
Intercontinental Championship Match: Pick Santino’s Opponent
Choices: Roddy Piper, Goldust, Honky Tonk Man
Adam: I am probably in the minority here, but I am in love with the Honk-a-Meter. I think Santino is great in his role, but I doubt he will be holding that title belt to break Honky Tonk Man’s streak. Either way, I have a feeling this match will be short and to the point, much like all of Santino’s other matches. The favorite to win this match is Piper because of the existing history he already has with Santino, but the wrestler I want to see in the mix would be Goldust. The next question remains though, will it be the actual wrestler or is it going to be Charlie Haas dressing up as the wrestler and imitating them? Call me crazy but I firmly believe we will see the actual wrestler, only because I don’t think WWE would cheat their fans out of voting, especially if they are paying to vote this year (what a crock am I right?). In the end, it doesn’t matter because Santino will win this match and keep that intercontinental title.
Winner: Santino Marella
John: I can’t believe it’s 2008 and we’re talking about the likes of Piper, Goldust and Honky Tonk Man. Aren’t they catering to kids now? How would they know these people? I like Santino’s promos a lot more than I’ve ever liked his matches, so hopefully he talks more than he wrestles. I think Honky Tonk Man wins the vote, but Santino wins the “match” if you want to call it that as the credibility of the IC title sinks further and further.
Winner: Santino Marella over Honky Tonk Man
US Championship Match: Choose Shelton Benjamin’s Opponent
Choices: R-Truth, MVP, Festus
Adam: Obviously WWE can persuade voters with their programming and who they choose to promote over other characters. That being said, I think it’s obvious that the WWE UNIVERSE…will choose R-Truth. I haven’t caught a lot of Truth’s action over the past month, but the way they have been pushing him suggests he is next in line for the United States Championship. MVP doesn’t need the belt, though I wish WWE would push him into the main event scene already. And Festus, well is kind of Festus…it’s definitely a rogue pick to say the least and I could see him getting more votes than MVP. I will go crazy if Festus does indeed win the voting, but I think the obvious choice here is R-Truth. As far as the match goes with Shelton Benjamin, I think it will be decent, why else would they put it up on WWE.com for free before the PPV begins. And this is one of the few matches you don’t have to pay to vote (I just can’t stress enough how awful it is to have to pay to participate in the process). Shelton is not going to give up the title belt that easily, and he will retain here somehow, probably via DQ.
Winner: Shelton Benjamin
John: I think the title switch is going to happen here with R-Truth getting the vote as well as the title victory. I liked their match a few weeks back and I think they’ll be able to have another one on the PPV stage. With that out of the way, let’s talk about MVP. You know why he’s losing every single week, even last week to Funaki of all people? Because a few weeks back when he was doing a urine test he said something to the guy that watched him take the piss and it was not something that Vince McMahon liked. It was something to the effect of: “You got a college diploma and now you get to watch guy’s piss all day.” I’m not sure exactly what he said or if it was more graphic than that, but that’s the gist of it. Due to that, a guy who should be near the main event picture is now losing to the likes of Funaki. Really Vince, a comment like that is worth punishment? The same guy that regularly had employees kiss his ass in front of the world because he thought it would bring in viewers is going to punish what should be a main event player for a sarcastic remark? And people wonder why this company is losing viewers. Anyway, hopefully MVP gets out of the doghouse soon. Maybe he should go to the JBL school of sucking up to your boss so that you get an unwarranted push.
(Note: The last three matches will be done conversation style as opposed to the previous ones.)
Undertaker vs. The Big Show
Choices: Knockout Match, I Quit Match, Last Man Standing
Adam: Well I would love to see an I Quit Match, but it will probably end up being a Last Man Standing Match. This one is kind of a toss-up since there’s no clear cut one to vote for. Sure, they’ve built up the knockout match with Show’s massive punch but that’s voting for a heel when the trend shows voting for heels does not bode well for this type of system. Oh, and did I mention voting for this match is free?
John: I think they did the free match voting to see how many people vote for this compared to the texting for money idea. As for the stips, I don’t think Knockout is going to win, so it’s either Last Man Standing or I Quit. I love how they try to say Big Show is favored even though the Undertaker has probably been in (and won) more stipulation matches than anybody in company history. With that in mind, I think LMS wins although it will be a very tame LMS match in today’s PG version of WWE, which is a shame because I prefer the bloody brawls over the current lack of blood.
Adam: Yeah, and considering Undertaker had that awesome Hell in a Cell match at Summerslam, this match won’t be able to compare to it. I think Show has been misused this year and it’s a shame considering the amount of publicity he got regarding the Floyd Mayweather match. I hope he gets his chance to shine here in late ’08 and as we roll into 2009.
John: I agree about Show’s misuse. There’s no question about that. I’m going to predict Undertaker winning this match here, no matter the stipulation and I could see another match happening with them at Survivor Series. Who do you think is winning this one?
Adam: Interesting pick. I will say Big Show gets the victory this time around. I don’t know how long Edge will be out of action but as I predicted for No Mercy, Edge will perhaps get involved in the match sealing another victory for Show. I could be wrong though, and I probably am but some form of interaction here with Edge would be very exciting.
John: Show won last month rather convincingly, so that’s mainly why I think Undertaker wins here. I think Edge comes back at Survivor Series when Show and Taker have their third match. Then Undertaker can take his annual break at SS to return as a “surprise” at the Rumble.
Adam: Typical and predictable, just the way Taker likes it.
Adam’s Winner: Big Show in a Last Man Standing Match
John’s Winner: Undertaker in a Last Man Standing Match
WWE Championship: Pick HHH’s Opponent
Choices: Jeff Hardy, Vladimir Kozlov, Triple Threat with Hardy and Kozlov
Adam: I think the safe bet is Jeff, I don’t think fans are going to vote in Kozlov unless they have a sheer hatred for HHH which means two out of the three selections are null and void. Kozlov is an interesting character, but I don’t think he’s interesting enough to garner enough fans like the Jeff Hardy Female Nation.
John: I think it’ll be Hardy too because not only did HHH/Hardy have a great match at No Mercy, but obviously they’re both very popular while the average fan hates Kozlov even though I enjoy his work a lot. I guess the triple threat could win, but it’s most likely going to be just a HHH vs. Hardy match. So what do you think about a match outcome?
Adam: HHH will not be dropping his title at Cyber Sunday, it’s not the right money making match just yet. If Hardy hasn’t taken it by now I don’t see why this time will be the charm. HHH wins this one and I think that’s a pretty easy prediction to make.
John: I agree with Hunter winning. I think it could even be a DQ with Kozlov coming in with a fit of rage because he didn’t get voted in and the match gets thrown out as a result of that. Then they can do the HHH/Kozlov/Hardy match at Survivor Series even though I personally dislike triple threat matches.
Adam: Yeah, I am sure the triple threat will probably happen at Survivor Series to protect Kozlov from a singles match. I don’t know if that’s a good thing or bad thing to put a guy on that sort of stage in that kind of match but WWE is about risk-taking and this is a pretty big risk at this point.
John: They really don’t have a lot of heel options on Smackdown at this point, so they really have to go with somebody like Kozlov. Anyway, Hunter leaves this match as champion one way or another. It’s been six months with him as champion and very few memorable moments during that entire run. He has brought a lot of stability to the title, although it wasn’t really suffering after Orton’s run.
Adam’s Winner: Triple H over Jeff Hardy
John’s Winner: Triple H over Jeff Hardy
World Heavyweight Championship: Chris Jericho vs. Batista – Pick the Referee
Choices: Steve Austin, Randy Orton, Shawn Michaels
Adam: Captain Obvious suggests it’s going to be Austin and I don’t think I need to explain why. The chance to see the most popular wrestler in WWE history will get more votes than HBK and Randy, who has been out of action and is the heel in all of this. Austin in a landslide vote. No real reason to see why he wouldn’t be voted in though HBK would probably be the better story.
John: I think Austin will probably get 80% of the vote, Michaels will get about 18% of the vote and there will be a select few that will vote for Orton. Should be fun to see Austin back in the ring even if it’s only in the ref shirt. Along with Michaels, he’s my favorite performer ever. I love how they charge people 99 cents to vote too. Guess Vince has to pay off his stupid million dollar giveaway idea
Adam: Yeah, I haven’t voted yet because people have to pay to be a fan. I’m not wasting my money, could you imagine if you wanted to vote for Obama of McCain you were charged $10.00?! Of course you’re in go ol’ Canada. How did your elections go recently up north?
John: I would vote for Barry Obama. That’s what his buddies called him in college, so I say we bring back the name Barry for him. I don’t think I have 99 cents to spend on any votes, though. Our elections are irrelevant much like Canada on the world stage (or in voting at Cyber Sunday apparently), which is fine by me. How’d we get so off track? What kind of outcome do you foresee for the Batista/Jericho match?
Adam: I don’t see Jericho losing this match, even though they’ve built him up as a massive underdog, ESPECIALLY after this week’s terrible Raw. Jericho will get the victory via some sort of shenanigans and although Batista preached about respect, Jericho still won’t have earned it yet. This is Jericho’s time to shine and Cyber Sunday is not big enough of a stage to drop the belt. Y2J with the win.
John: How many title shots has Batista had in the last year and a half? The guy is always in title matches. It’s boring. I think he’ll win the belt by year’s end because it makes sense for the Batista/Cena match that should happen at WrestleMania, but Jericho should end up leaving the match as champion here. I just don’t think Cyber Sunday is a big enough show to move the title even with Austin as the ref.
Adam: Now is not the time for Jericho to drop but I agree he will probably lose the belt by the Royal Rumble.
John: He’s the best heel on Raw, no question about it, but I think they’d be foolish not to go with Batista vs. Cena with Cena challenging for the belt. As for this match, it should be interesting because I’m curious as to how they’re going to get Jericho to leave the belt as champion.
Adam’s Winner: Chris Jericho with Steve Austin as referee
John’s Winner: Chris Jericho with Steve Austin as referee
John: Thanks for reading and enjoy Cyber Sunday if you’re one of the few watching it. I don’t see it being better than No Mercy from earlier in the month or Unforgiven last month, but with a likely appearance from Steve Austin it will provide at least something fresh. Yes, I do find it ironic that a man in his 40s who hasn’t wrestled in five years can provide a fresh feel to a WWE show, but that’s a testament to how stale the product is right now. Hopefully things will get better by Survivor Series, which is when Adam and I will see you next.
Enjoy the show, people.
Email Adam at AdamPayne101@gmail.com
Email John at firstname.lastname@example.org